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Frosty Fuck
I just don't know what to say. I know alot of people get turned on by the danger involved in outdoors sex but when it comes to that, there must be a limit. This woman is having sex with a snowman and by the smile on his face he must be enjoying it. I have a few questions like: isn't here pussy cold? Are her nips hard? Is he well endowed? Nonetheless snowmen fucking women, or fucking at all...that's just stupid!
04.21.08, Category: Ouch!
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Ogre Love!
There are some people that enjoy being slammed by a 40 ft. ogre and ravaged by a basilik or whatever that big monster with the tencles is. To me, however, it doesn't seem to be very enjoyable, i would doubt that there is any way to not writhe in pain from that mammoth of a dick. I know its anime but come on at least show something that is close to being a situation that can happen!
04.07.08, Category: Ouch!
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Stepped all Over!
Apparently being trampled on women is not only a straight man's folly but also his dreams. Who knows wats going through these guys' heads but i'll tell you one thing heels belong on the floor not in te crack of my back!
11.26.07, Category: Ouch!
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It's Stupid...Really!
Okay, so before you call us crazy we know that the guys on this site are pretty flippin' hot, and yeah the shoots are good too. However, the hot pink little creature at the top of the homepage makes us wonder why Pixar hasn't called asking for their latest cast member back...it's disturbing. Also, cum shots are great, but unprotect porn sex, anyway you cut it, is stupid!
10.08.07, Category: Ouch!
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Smell the Roses
Roses are red, balls can be blue, I don't get this at all, do you? Not sure what is hot, or even interesting about a guy rubbing his dick on flowers, but here it is!! The guy's pretty hot, we love the tatts, but all-in-all just a little stupid. After all, pricks are great, but every rose has it's thorns!!
09.10.07, Category: Ouch!
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May the Force Be IN You!
Your eyes do not deceive you, that is a chick with a double sided light-saber dildo...watch her and her man saber it out as they decide who gets to be 'on top' in this surprisingly original homage to Star Wars!
08.27.07, Category: Ouch!
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Pussy-Footin' Around
Did I fail anatomy, or do my eyes deceive me? Is that a silicone foot with a vagina on the bottom? Love a good fuck, don't mind a nice pair of feet, however fucking a foot sounds painful and just plain Stupid!
08.06.07, Category: Ouch!
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No If's, Ends or Butts
Dildos, butt plugs, vibrators....we love 'em all! By yourself, with a partner, or in groups. However, there's something about involving an engine that just makes us go...OUCH!
06.18.07, Category: Ouch!
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My Pussy Ate My Homework
When in doubt, put it in your pussy. That's pretty much the mantra for this site. From Pineapple's to asparagus no food group or object is too sacred. If it can fit in there, its going in there. I feel for the Pineapple girl though. That takes "ribbed for her pleasure" a step too far.
03.26.07, Category: Ouch!
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The Joy of Cola
Why throw away those old Pepsi bottles when they make for perfectly good discount dildos? And hey - why use lube when you can just spit on the fucking thing and ram it right up your ass? OUCH! This video has everything though. Flashy dancing, twinky boys, bottles up asses...but wait - there's more! The copy written for the site appears to be done by a retarded one-legged chicken dancing on a keyboard!
1.08.07, Category: Ouch!
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The Power Of Cock Compels You!
I guess what they say is true. The Catholic Church really is doing just about anything to get the Generation Xers (or is that XXXers?) into the church. And the nuns sure have come a long way since back in my day. In the good ol' days, the nuns would just slap your hand with a ruler if you got out of line, now apparently they'll strap on a dildo and pummel your ass harder than Tara Reid's pussy at a frat party. I'm not sure what's going on with the silver sequined fuck-me pumps. I guess the power of Christ compelled her!
12.18.06, Category: Ouch!
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Power Tools
Anyone remember taking Industrial Arts back in their school days? Weren't there safety rules like always wear your goggles, keep your hands away from the blades, and don't sit naked on the table saw? This kid, Rex, is getting dangerously close to the sort of accident you can't explain when you arrive at the emergency room.
11.20.06, Category: Ouch!
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It's Just A Flesh Wound
I don't know about you, but nothing gets me more in the mood to suck cock than lying in a hospital bed bleeding from a gaping head wound. That's HOT! Come on guys, I know a lot of people enjoy fantasizing about playing doctor, but seriously--the bloody bandage on the head is just tacky.
11.06.06, Category: Ouch!
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Killer Pumpkin Fucker
Yeah, cheap halloween costumes, like your bed sheet, are OK for showing up at a frat party, but isn't the point of porn to take the sheets off? Here we have some dude - albeit with a large cock - dressed up in a sheet with holes cut out for eyes, wielding a machete and proceeding to ram his dick into a pumpkin. Fucking a pumpkin is a little dirty, but there is nothing hot about threating to Bobbit with a machete. No knives in porn please!
10.23.06, Category: Ouch!
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Dude, Where's My Dick?
So here's a photo set I came across the other day that I found rather odd. This "straight" guy is trying to shove his dick into his own ass while wearing a cast on his arm. Maybe if he has already broken his arm, he should think twice before trying to contort other parts of his body into awkward positions.
10.16.06, Category: Ouch!
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Bringing Down The House
As many of you know, I never get tired of seeing faggots hurt each other. It's just plain ole fun! But what I love about this shoot is we have an army rebel guy beating up a skinny twink in what appears to be his grandmother's living room. Nothing says "beat me up and fuck me" like pink wallpaper and flowery curtains!
9.25.06, Category: Ouch!
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Phone Sex
There are a few aspects of this shoot that are questionable. The guy looks pretty whacked out on some substance. He's using the cord of an old rotary phone as a cock strangler...and then he places the disconnected phone up to his ass. Who is he talking to? Who taught him those contorted moves?
9.05.06, Category: Ouch!
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Who Stole My Stapler?
If this picture were in a different context, this guy might come across as someone halfway respectable. But not on our site. What could be a mediocre jerk off at a desk takes a turn for the worst when he sticks a huge fucking stapler in his ass. So next time you find office supplies missing, maybe it's better you not find out where they're disappearing to.
7.17.06, Category: Ouch!
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More Fags Bashing Fags...
Here we have yet another attempt to play up the 'straight jock beating up the fag' fantasy and once again, all we are left with is a couple of faggots hitting each other with sticks...complete with fake blood. Please, use real blood. No one is buying to old ketchup routine. Having them bleed for real may not make the scene any hotter, but all of us watching will still enjoy it. I promise.
6.26.06, Category: Ouch!
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This Might Hurt A Little...
I've seen guys take some big dildos in my day, but this one might just take the cake. This talented guy, Darren, somehow manages to squat down on a twelve-inch black dildo and not die. My asshole hurts just watching this!
5.22.06, Category: Ouch!
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Tell Mom I Loved Her...
I can sort of see what they were trying to achieve here: The classic "straight jock beating up the fag and making him suck his cock" fantasy. However, this shoot clearly didn't pull it off. Instead, all we have here are two faggots choking each other with coathangers. Queen, please.
4.17.06, Category: Ouch!
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Talk About Flushing Your System
I'm not sure how safe this is, however I think most of you get the idea of what is about to happen with this hose. I can't say that I have any experience dealing with hoses outside of my garden, but this seems like a potential disaster on so many levels. Can we say anal bleeding?
3.06.06, Category: Ouch!
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Sperm Cult
So I'm not much into flames, but here's a cult that I think I might be able to get into. Yeah, the guy in the grim reaper suit is a little weird. Yeah, they're drawing gay symbols on each other with lipstick. But if there's plenty of sex involved, it sure beats Jim Jones!
1.16.06, Category: Ouch!
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This Might End Badly...
One boy, his cock, and a...tablesaw? I don't think getting naked and jerking off next to a tablesaw would agree with shop class procedures. But I guess you have to give him credit for imagination...damn fool.
12.05.05, Category: Ouch!
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Turn Up The Heat...
This has got to be the first time I've ever seen someone demonstrate a fetish for ironing. Now maybe this guy just gets off on feeling a little heat down there, but when your fetish carries the possibility of potentially mutilating your goods, the risk isn't worth the end results. My advice? Get a more normal fetish and start squatting on fire hydrants like the rest of us!
11.14.05, Category: Ouch!
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The Rumors Are True
We have all suspected for years that Burt and Ernie might be more than what the writers on Sesame Street want us to think, and finally there is now proof. These two closet cases may entertain children by day, but they're hardcore fisters by night. See the evidence for yourself...
4.07.05, Category: Ouch!
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Lickin for Love
Maybe this guy saw Joey Danger Deep-Throat A Light Bulb...or maybe standing on chairs, reaching for the ceiling of dingy basements, looking to lick some hot lighting gets him hard.
3.23.05, Category: Ouch!
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Not the Brightest Bulb
We've seen this kid before...its Stupid Porn's favorite Joey Danger, the same miscreant who stuck his dick in a jar of Mayo, back when he had that long hair. Here is he, back with something to prove, attempting to deep-throat a light bulb, that is on and hot! Dude, just cause your name is Joey Danger doesn't you got to get stupid.
2.10.05, Category: Ouch!
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